"I hate you! I wish you would just die!" Rebecca snapped as she slipped in to her room of teenage angst. Rebecca was a typical sixteen year old girl. Her mind opening up to new things and the feeling as if everything was out to get her. Like all teens, she had parental problems. She'd become sick and tired of her worrisome parents; mostly her mother. Her father was never home because of his job as a Pilot for Air Canada. To her left; a small desk with a lamp. Inside of that desk, lies a razor blade she saves for a rainy day. She grabbed some sleeping pills on her computer desk, to her right. She liked taking a pill to help her sleep and forget her troublesome day. Now, Rebecca wasn't a troublesome teen. She was an honour student at her High School, and captain of her softball team. However, school pressures to hand in assignments and other commitments proved to be a burden and she slipped in to a depression when she couldn't get her assignments in on time. Her grades started to slip, so did her grip on reality.
"I don't know why I take them, to be honest. It's just... Like, when I take one, I go to sleep, right... And when I sleep, I dream." she told me.
"What do you dream about?" I asked, taking notes.
"You know.. Stuff... Like... I have this silly dream where there are no wars, no one is dying in the streets from starvation... I guess you could say that I dream about my own Heaven?"
That was one of the last conversations that I had with her. It was rare for me to talk to a teenager who didn't have visions of their death, their parents death, or worse... She was a pure, innocent girl who dreamt and believed in Heaven; who was simply growing up.
"Why do you hurt yourself?" I asked.
"I don't hurt myself..." she replied.
"Then what are those cuts on your arm from?" She looked at me and started to cry. She explained how hard life is. She's tired of constantly being burdened by school work, commitments for volunteering at the animal shelter and her softball team. She asked me what the point of life was. I looked at the black holes in her eyes and I saw her life being drained away. That would be the last time I ever saw her.
She returned home after two hours of volunteering and three hours of softball practice. Sweaty and tired, she went straight to her room. Normally, she would take a shower but she just went to her room. She laid down on her bed and opened her bottle of sleeping pills. She took a pill and put on her head phones. She tuned her ipod on and listened to Pink Floyd. She looked around her room and saw an old photo of herself in grade five. She was an adorable little brown haired girl; wearing a lovely blue dress for photo day. She reminisced her child hood. Life seems so full in the eyes of a child - so empty in the eyes of a teenager. She wondered "Where did it all go wrong?"
Laying in bed, listening to Comfortably Numb, she had another dream... Only not to wake up afterwards. Her dream of Heaven now a reality.